Saturday, December 24, 2011

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind Called...



...it wants is their scene back. That is unless Zales and Fox Searchlight came to some agreement because Zales was really pushing to use that part where after Elijah Wood mentally raped that chick, he gave her the present that he stole from Jim Carrey, how sweet.

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

The Most Fucked Up Movie of the Year Award (Based Only on Trailers so far)

Melancolia


Take Shelter


Don't be Afraid of the Dark


We Need to Talk About Kevin


Insidious


I actually saw this one since it's on Netflix.  The ending was just like a nightmare. There was so much in the movie it's like you are in a haunted house, and the only thing that can save you is classic rock.

The year just seemed to have a lot of movies that were very cerebral movies, ones that seemed a little off and able to get under skin for awhile. Muted is a good word to define this year.

I don't know, winner is...We need to talk to kevin.  That trailer is weird.

Poltergeist: WHY THE FUCK DOES THE FAMILY STAY IN THAT HOUSE!!!!


Saw Poltergeist for the first time last week.  At least in it's entirety.  I'd always seen bits and pieces on the TV.  I've seen that chair scene about a dozen times, and the very ending 3 or 4, swimming pool a few I guess. But I had no idea that a bunch of shit went down, then there was a break and they thought it was over, then worst shit happened.  My questions is why the hell are they staying in that house after even half of the stuff that goes on the first time.  Oh yeah that midget lady from our realm can really send unknown demons, of unknown origins and powers, back to their world and defeat them.  They play by rules of logic I guess.  No, your daughter gets sucked into another dimension you grab her ass as soon as she comes out and run out that door and napalm your house.  I don't care how much it costs.

Sunday, November 27, 2011

Another Movie Needs to Step Up Like 28 Days Later in the Worst Way

And I mean Zombie movie.  Even though it wasn’t technically a zombie movie I suppose, but what is a zombie movie just where humanity turns on the killing switch and starts the apocalypse by consuming themselves.  Boyle flipped every Zombie convention on it’s head with that movie, and it made one of the most refreshing movie experiences of the last 15 years if you were a fan of the genre, or if you are just a fan of solid movies.  You just have so many films over the last few years using the same devices, the same plots, same stories, same twists, cliché after cliché.  Oh my daughter was bitten but I won’t kill her to put her out of her misery, wah wah wah. I thought Zombieland would be this, but it dissappointed.  Way to throw in that Woody Harrelson's kid died, that's what I want to see in a comedy, we already liked him, you didn't need this, but oh yeah now we know he's fighting for something, thanks. 

This goes back to the old movie vs new movie debate mentioned in dirty harry.  There are hardly any refreshing movies nowadays, which is what has made Danny Boyle a force, every movie that guy has done has been completely different from the one before.  Being refreshing is really the key to making a great movie, or doing anything whether it be making a mint julep, or cooking general tso chicken, don't have to be so new that no one really cares anyway to "understand" you.  Take established themes and give us a story we've never experienced before, use cinnamon. The Matrix was somewhat new in regards to storyline, but it was just shown in a completely unique way at that time.  Does it have to be perfect, no, just enough to be compelling, memorable, and different from the status quo.  You can't have a dr. seus machine spewing scripts from the same type set over and over again, unless your adam sandler.

Zodiac: Our Justice System Can't Prosecute Evil Genius'

The main theme running through this whole thing is who is the zodiac, where is he going to strike next, who is going to solve it.   Meanwhile all they do is collect evidence upon evidence for 20 years or something.  They question all these different people, worst of the worst suspects, the few dirty.  They pretty much nail them on multiple accounts of damn good similarities, and they find out that these are some pretty evil people in some way.  But there is just all this stupid bureaucracy with it that makes you sick.  Fincher seemed to want to stress this.  You have regular good people who want to make society better and they are trapped like Frodo in that Spider cave. 

Isn't that why gangsters/gangstas hardly ever went to jail.  They always have other people vouching for their whereabouts, and because we just have to take into account that they are telling the truth.  But that's the fucked up thing, then once you do something to make it tougher on gang members, that effects the rest of the society and it limits our freedoms.  The relationship between security and crime is inverse to the nth degree.  A lot of our taxes are going to crime prevention, is that preventing crime or creating more type deal. Not only that but the aforementioned gangs have the resources to find loop holes and the such meaning actual innocent people are in prison while the real trouble makers still roam the streets.  The soldiers are always the ones to go down first.  

They also throw out a lot of evidence based on seemingly inconsequential things.  The hand writing is different?  they spend a little more than needed amount of time on this matter.  And that handwritten expert?  Great life man.  He slips in that little nugget oh handwriting doesn't really change.  If you train yourself, enough pressure and time you can do anything.  Are you trying to tell me that Hannibal Lector couldn't change his handwriting?  Either that's who the Zodiac was, or there were just a bunch of copycats and you just arrest every suspicious mother fucker.  Didn't that one bald guy expose himself to kid?  Just lock him up agian for that sake.  On the account of him being just weird.

We Bought A Zoo (Recut)

Sunday, November 6, 2011

It's Called Production Value For a Reason


Those who are interested in getting into filmmaking I'm sure at some time in their lives scoured the craigslist/wanted ads for upcoming productions to work with.  No pay of course, but legitimately serious claims to a good amount of "experience".  Most common is IMDB Credit! Copy of final, food.  However you realize that half those things don't come about as a result of this mindset of cutting so many corners and not putting the time and money into something like this if you want it to be good.

I just don't get this investment strategy.  Now if you are just jag bagging with your buddies, making stupid skits, be as cheap as you want.  But if you set out to make a feature length movie and have it legitimately be respected be prepared to spend at least $100,000.  I'm not saying you need to, just be prepared to. Now the physical movie itself could easily be done for $30,000.  But what are you going to live on while do the full time job of editing and producing for the next two years.   There will be always be movies made for much less than that in the future though, but those are few and far between as they seem to just strike lightning in a bottle.  For every paranormal activity, you have 2000 movies made for $5000 that never get picked up at a film festival because nothing about it seems professional.  Do an experiment, post an ad for a movie and see the difference in what you get in a responses in a credit only vs $2000 for a weeks worth of work for an actor.  You don't have to pay that amount, you just advertise it that way.  Maybe you say oh you would be perfect for this one other part, it pays $100, for 2 days.  You still get that talent in to audition and even the hopes of a paying gig for a couple days.  

You should be able to spend as much as possible, obviously not more than you have in your life.  The reason is if you are making a feature length movie, you are serious about it in your life.  You realize the time commiment, this is going to be your baby.  Your passion project.  If you really care about it you should be out their soliciting for funds.  This is what all real movies have to do.  Sure you won't have access to their resources, but that doesn't mean you don't hit up relatives, friends, co-workers, etc.  Have fundraisers, sell producers credits, do that thing, jumpstarter or whatever.

The perfect dedication example is Mark Borchardt of American Movie.  He knew what amount he needed to finish it.  What he had to do, and he set out to get that money to make it for real.  Using film, doing marketing, getting a theater, etc.  Now you may say that Mark Borchardt was this type of person I'm talking about. The lets round up a bunch of people who are willing to work for free, and see how that goes. Which is true, and which is why it took years to make. We see people leaving him hanging all the time. We think oh those must be mean friends, but in reality they were probably there every weekend for a few weeks, but you can't show all that in 90 minutes. He had the dedication, he just didn't have the funds. He said it himself, he was going in and out of credit card debt, child support payments, etc. Working 4-5 jobs. He needed Bill's money so that he could take time off from those and finish it. Save up a good war armament before you head out into the Atlantic, you know. Borchardt is one of those cock-sure Admirals that you never heard from again. There's been a movie in development for quite some time on his resume. Come on Mark step it up.

If you want it done right you just need a little investment in the crew and talent.  Even though it's nice to get people that have the passion to do it and to work for free, people will want to work harder if they are getting paid.  If they are getting nothing how often will they go above and beyond for something, put in that extra hour, get that extra couple takes.  After awhile people just need to live on an amount, or you will need to pay people that do it professionally. 

Without a little bump in the budget, here is the experience you will get, a bunch of people who don't know what they are doing, by the end there will only be 5% of you remaining by the end.  Things will come up miraculously last minute of why people won't show up.  Meaning it production will drag, or at least it will cost you about 8 weeks of your life for a feature, probably 3 for a short.  The movie, if it gets finished at all, will sit in limbo for almost 2 years after it is done filming and that weekend, week, month whatever, all in all time, now wasted besides this "experience".  It is like a dream only you have knowledge of this occurring.  The only thing a film really needs to actually exist and so many of these no compensation cases it ends up like that.  .

They try to be the next Robert Rodriquez, and make something on this shoe string budgets.  Forget that his situation is a one in a million that it works with marketing and it getting out, but yet these type of productions nowadays don't even want to invest $5000, whereas Rodriguez spent a few thousand in early 90's money.  Not to mention it was made in a perfect storm of independent cinema.  You can't really make cheap movies that look like that anymore.  Think of it as starting your business.  You need to build up your war chest. 

You never hear of someone making a feature length movie for $200 plus food is what I'm saying. Or at least, just call it an internship.

Saturday, November 5, 2011

Aaron Seltzer and Jason Friedberg Do Not Exist

These guys who made all the 'movie' movies.  You know those twisted sisters who gave us Spy Hard, since that is the epitome of comedic mindfucks (See Dead Alive).  Everyone hates them, yet they still make $40 million each movie.  They always get top notch comedic talent, that asian guy from hangover, Kevin McDonald, that dwarf from Bad Santa.  Not to say they aren't probably sweating for a paycheck these days, but you'd think they have some standards.  Above is one of only like 2 pictures that are out there for these turds, other than that they hardly ever do publicity for the their movies, or are even using any kind of social media.  Wouldn't these types of people of the "they'd probably walk around with a 2 foot tampon crammed up their ass at a pool party to get attention"-persuasion want to be in public eye 24.7, or at least have a tad more publicity than the waiter/barrista/actor on imdb.  Isn't that an amalgamation of personalities, you can't have idiocy without being ostentatious.  Conclusion, they are the Alan Smithee's of the modern era, they are a joke on the American movie public propagated by Hollywood's top talent.  They make such crap that they know it will be hated and talked about by legitimate people who want to see decent spoofs, and they make such crap that they know the other half will think it is hilarious and line up every time.  That's the key to what they do.  You make a shit movie, epic movie, you don't try, you don't care, buy a pound of weed, make it in that week, you just market it the next week, release it 2 days after that, then you make boatloads of money.

Ahhhhhhhh

Julianne Moore in Boogie Nights helped make me the man I am today. 

Friday, October 21, 2011

Why Pay it Forward is the Second Best Movie Ever Made

  1. Jim Fucking Cavise..Cazievel…Ciyikeetoo
  2. There is a shiving
  3. A kid that looks like Steve Bischel’s Brother
  4. Instead of laughing at Kevin Spacey we feel sorry for him. 
  5. A scene shot in prison without any anus’ having to bleed
  6. Camera angles, camera angles, my god camera angles/editing
  7. It’s soooooooooooooooooooooooooooo sweet and heartwarming lifts the spirits lets fucking change this planet.  Just Pay it Forward, people helping people YES!
  8. Helen Hunt works in a casino and has major small-titty cleavage, the two best qualities I find in women today. 
  9. Haley Joel Osmont plays an arrogant, vagina teasing, mother whoring, van bashing little brat
  10.  But it didn’t have a half naked, chubby, brit girl with bad teeth with her rolls hanging out of a her tank top, and that is why Bridges of Madison County is the best movie ever made.  Wait…that was Meryl Streep, and she’s not British.

Bill Murray finally takes role as a sarcastic, wise-cracking cynic.

Saturday, October 15, 2011

How can duos win Awards?

First let me just say I love the Coen Brothers.  I think over the last 30 years there hasn't been a higher quality crop of films from anyone else and not only that but they're putting out films on a regular basis.  And maybe they get a pass on this since as a duo they have their hands in more aspects of the film like editing, writing, producing, etc.  They might also be one of the very few that I think can use "A Film by" when crediting. 

How can you award an oscar to do a duo?  I absolutely fucking hate because it is the half the work, oh ahaha because you fight with each other that is a battle, oh hell no that is debate, a duo debates.  These aren’t political polars on some gay news channel where you don't get anything done, one person has an idea the other one does too and they work on getting the best one, or guess what they can do multiple takes.  Can you give awards for 2 actors?  Thinking about it more I guess it doesn't really apply to Coen's, I'm glad they won all their awards, I think it applies to those asshole Strause brothers or the Brothers Strause as they now label their crap.  If they ever won an award, and directing duos like that.  Speaking of which throw screenwriting duos into that.  If that is all you do then you should be disqualified, why does it take 4 people to write a movie?  You know it must be good then. 

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Saw Dirty Harry For the First Time Last Night

And it was better than I ever thought it could be. That woman had no idea how close she was to death.    
Even though my only experience with it going in is that it was a gritty crime drama, I was surprised to find how funny some scenes were.  For the first time in a long time I found myself actually thoroughly enjoying a movie again.  It was like having sex with an ex girlfriend 10 years down the line.  Now, whenever someone says that oh they don't make movies like they used to.  Every generation underneath says you're just old, and all people say that about the things kids listen to and watch and yeah it's going to be that way for the rest of time.  But I think we just need to start admitting that the stuff from the 60's, 70's and 80's was just awesome and it started going down hill in the 90's.  If Dirty Harry had come out today and I saw it in the theater I'd probably see it 3x.  It competes against anything released this year.  I was born in 1983 and I saw The Thing for the first time in 2007, around the same time I saw Ghost Rider, and The Thing floored it.  It doesn't really have anything to do with when I saw it, mainly more on whether that it is crap or not.

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Remember when Amanda Peet was the big IT girl?

She was in that episode of seinfeld with the dude, got warm, then exploded all over the place with The Whole 9 Yards.  Remember when the Whole 10 yards just bombed?  No one recovered from that.  Maybe that's what did it. They were all a few years old, looked worse.  Amanda Beet was everywhere for around 4 years.  Then seemed to disappear after Whipped.  Well not really, I mean you do see her pop up once in awhile.  She is always some kind of psychologically stressed mother with a husband who doesn’t love he. Those seem like simpler times though when she was hot.

Saturday, September 10, 2011

I Miss Chubby Michelle Williams

I might be willing to say nothing beats that first season of Dawson's, and every time Michelle Williams came on, instant boner.  She was this new, out of left field, slutty, voluptuous blonde chick that pissed off Katie Holmes.  Jackie vs. Marilyn type thing except in modern high school so they are more catty.  She also reminded me of a girl I went to high school with at that time too so i was able to kill two birds with one stone.  But now, she is still hot don't get me wrong, but she seems less fun.  Plus you know Heath Ledger just destroyed that thing probably. 

I ended up watching Shutter Island for the third time a week ago and I think I am more confused as ever.  I noticed that the chick he is interviewing, one of the patients.  She asks for a glass of water, raises her hands, but with nothing in it, then you see the empty glass.  What the fuck.  Martin Scorsese, you son of bitch.  He is a sneaky little fucker.  I thought the movie oh blah blah, he is insane the whole time, bravo Scorsese, yet another sleep walking, intense mental institution movie.  But he actually stuck a lot of things in here, pardon my french, that you will notice.  You notice that the Jackie Earl Haley, says certain things like :"You did this" and "It's all a game".  But then you also more reasons that he has to be sane this couldn't be real, and it's like you split your mind in half more and more the more you see..  It's a movie that makes you insane.  This might be Scorsese's biggest, literal mind fuck.  You have to interpret both equally yet some people see either one at full speed.

Some points from this time that make me see more for either on of them.
Insane -
  • I can see the case that none of what happens could be real up until the point in the lighthouse.  Seriously he could have been under deep psychosis inside that little room, inside his mind.  Or some combination of film reel, Clock Work Orange thing. He could have been just coming out of it when he "shot" Ben Kingsley and was half asleep.  That is why the gun goes off and we see blood but nothing happens.  All of it was in his head, only the lighthouse existed.  That is why the gun didn't have bullets.  The guard was genuinely scared outside.  He would know the gun wouldn't have bullets.  Because Leo was never outside the lighthouse.  He was doing this all inside that room in his mind.  He looked deranged and he was dancing around.  Perhaps he just gets worse and worse, he starts out nice and civil, a US Marshal who is seeking vengeance.  But then he starts shooting guns and stuff so they have to basically put him down mentally.  That is the scene in the end, notice how it mirror the scene on the boat.  He is on the boat right now getting ready to go again, and Ruffalo knows it.  
  •  Finally realize the hints that he beat up Jackie Earl Haley (sp).  
  • All the orderlies react so harshly when that one guy said he left to go to the bathroom, as if it was such a horrible thing to do over a 12 hour shit.  Overreaction? 
(from the first point of it above, obviously if none of it is real, then none of this below existed like we thought it did which would negate it.  The easy way out?)
Sane -
  • Why would they let a mental patient just wander around the facility at all times a day or night?  He also had relative ease getting into ward C.   
  • Guards are shown in the beginning combing the fields.  Presumably for the "lost woman", would they really divert about a dozen resources to on the fringe fields to make it that authentic to Leo.
  •   The woman patient that writes 'run' doesn't look at Ruffalo at all when they bring up his Dr. character.  She would have to be an extremely well trained actor within the movie to be able to pull off that stunt.  
  • That woman in the cave is more convincing than anything, big wild card. 

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Why Don't DVD Numbers Get Reported At All?

Quick what was the highest grossing movie last year in the US, 2010.  Toy Story 3, of course.  Who had the highest grossing DVD last year?  Might take a little while, and digging and it's kind of weird but Avatar.  According to The Numbers.  Avatar sold about 10 million DVD's, Toy Story 3 came in second with a little over 9 million.  The sales revenue of each just from DVD's was $183 million and $162 million.  That no small chunk of change.  Yet we never hear anything about it.  They run the weekend box-office every week on our local news station, IMDB always comes in with up to date totals, and has box office for almost every movie, from every country depending on how popular it is, but rarely talks about rentals.  Hundreds of websites are devoted to the weekend box-office, with even one devoted to gambling on it.  The DVD's (I mean rentals) only make up a small portion of what's talked about yet that is what more and more people watch nowadays.  Back in 2007, Pirates of the Carribean:  At World's End (the guy who Depp based the character off of actually appeared in the movie, zany!) made $279 million from DVD's and sold about 13.7 million units.  That's huge, more than 97% of the movies released didn't even get a sniff of that asshole in box office receipts, more than 75% probably not even half that.  It's weird though, especially for how much backlash that crapfest had.  What's shocking is that it sold more than Avatar  With all the nerds that made it the highest grossing movie of all time, more people would buy a DVD of the 3rd runaround with ol Jack Sparrow, with probably only a couple years from an ultimate collectors trilogy being set loose, than buy a Oscar nominated movie that grossed twice as much money?  Not only that but they only sold 26% more units, but made 52% more money.  Of course more people are buying a crappier movie that costs more money, makes sense to me.  On the other hand how was Avatar able to make over $700 million, but only be deemed good enough to buy 10 million times.  Something doesn't add up, am I missing Blu-Ray numbers?

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

X-Men The first Class is better than the original X-Men movie.

I haven't seen it again yet, but after a couple months why wouldn't this be considered the better movie than the original X-Men.  Although it had a couple weak moments it had more action, more characters, more powers, a bigger finale.  The original hasn't aged well at all.  The first few years it was awesome, but than the second one came out and it blew it away, you watched first one again a few times, it started to get shown on TV a lot, you actually only had on VHS for awhile so you stopped watching it.  The DVD sucked ass.  Then you realize there is really 1/2 an action scene, and you recall "what happens when a toad is struck by lightning".  Does wolverine do anything until the end?  Hugh Jackman, although a phenomenal actor, is starting to become the wrong choice for that role.  He actually might have made a great cyclops.  But First Class, it's all Xavier and Magneto dynamic which is the most interesting in the series.  You get Magneto like in the first, but then you get Kevin Bacon on top of that.  Or Maybe it didn't get better the first one just got worse, I'm still really pissed that they didn't have Jean.

The Greatest Poster Ever Created in Mankind History

When future generations look back on today they will be witness to a lot our work courtesy of the digital age, pictures of everything will exist somewhere.  Artwork lives on forever.  But those future generations will make sure that this work of art lives in the minds and hearts of men for all eternity.  No need to consider Ben Stillers eerie bone structure, or why they are just staring at each other, 6 inches away about to kiss like that dennis to mennis poster or robert de niro's sleep walking through life the last 13 years.  I think it started with bull winkle.  Well, we'll all find out this christmas. 

They aren't even doing that stupid I'm looking at you bit, they are staring, uh. 

Forrest Gump - The Premature Ejaculation Scene

Everyone remembers their first semi-sexual experience right?  Most likely it didn't go the way you liked or planned, but guess what it slowly becomes a part of you, it has to.  As with that, remembering those times, when the years add on, you begin to think and reflect how special they really were, no matter how awkward they may have been. It was something that was new, exciting and at the same time frightening how often does that happen in our lives when you grow old.  We'll look back with wonder right?  With sex, sadly you will never get another first time again.  What happens happens no turning back now.  By semi-sexual I refer to anything cumming with the assisted contact of another person.  Most likely there wasn't penetration.  This moment is very profound in your life, when it happened you are generally old enough to understand it in away, enjoy it, there is no doubt about it, which also part of why you will remember it forever.  Could this scene in Forrest Gump be the most pivotal in the entire movie, and since it won the Oscar the entire year of 1994.   When people think of 1994, they should think premature ejaculation. That's actually a good theme for anything.  It happens to the best of us, which is close to all of us. How you decide to face your life the rest of the way is what separates the men from the boys, and the men from the legends. 

Just think about what happened for a second.  This is something he was probably hoping for his entire life to happen.  Was it awkwardness or desire when he looked over at Jenny in that scene when he climbed into his bed.  He probably had sleepovers dozen of times during his teenage years, probably drove him insane.  Now in her dorm room, alone*, her walking around in a bra.  He will remember this forever because it was with the woman he had loved his whole life, and spent his childhood with, and now this is taking what used to be innocent to the next level, like when cooties becomes cuddle parties.  But then everything that happens around that scene is great.  For the first time we see, Forrest stands up for himself and his woman when he thinks she is being hurt in that car by Billy and starts decking a guy he never even sees.  This is Forrest fucking Gump now, all of a sudden the former local idiot, the same guy that was chased in a pickup truck and almost killed only a little bit prior.  Was it football that made him tough?  Fighting racism?  Then what Jenny and Forrest talk about, what they are going to be when they are older.  What does Forrest say?  "Who I’m going to be me, I'm gonna, I'm gonna be me", you know a weird answer, you kind of see that 76 percentile a little bit but how honest does that become?  He never wavers from who he truly is, this is before Vietnam.  He goes through that hell and still comes out a decent, honest person based on the same morals as before.  His love of Jenny, his respect of his mother and her ways, and the drive to do whatever he was instructed to a T. 

The only thing is I'm not really sure if I'm even willing to bet this was his first sexual experience he had with a woman though, her mom was running a small hotel in the deep south.  Probably got a lot of people on the run, running from the problems.  He might have been raped as a kid, probably first by some cougar on the run from her husband, and he was dancing in Elvis' room. Not to mention he was on the college football team, but the thing is he probably pre-maturely ejaculated until he was 22.    The best part on top of him splooging all over the roommate's bathrobe, is that you find out her roommate was there and awake the whole time.  And that's college for you.  

This or Forrest was just playing dumb/coy the whole time in her dorm in order to get her to be aggressive.  "I sit next to them in my home economics class all the time"  Genius man genius. 

To Be Continued....

Stacey Dash Is Perhaps the Most Underrated Sex Bomb In Our Lifetime

And she was pulling down woman roles in her mid-twenties.   To quote a movie I really don't want to start as a trend, she is the perfect combination of sexy and cute. 












When I remembered her and saw her in Mo' Money, I couldn't believe how sexy she was.  That's always the problem, noticing girls way too late.

Monday, September 5, 2011

The Invasion: What the Fuck Movie of the Millenium

Society thinks that people who blog don't face any real challenges.  It's true they may never face a fire, have to decide whether a child lives or dies, or be a whale hunter.  Yet, perhaps it's something worse than everything.  Talking about shitty movies--->creates business----->begaths more shitty movies. By me talking about it, it is advertising for it and probably 1-2 people might see it out of curiosity.  I cannot advise highly enough that you don't, but again that is just going to make you want to see it more.  I'll try to talk about it as much as you can and save you an hour*.  

The premise sounds interesting enough.  A police officer goes to investigate a meteor crash outside the town where strange things start to happen.  It starts out nice, but don't most of them. Quick do a search of Invasion on imdb, can't find it?  That's because it is listed as Infection, that link takes you to a page where it has a poster saying Invasion like the one above, but it's not that important to get the name of the movie correct in a movie database. 

Let's get the production out of the way first, 2 editors?  This movie needed 2 editors.  It is one continuous 60 minute shot* and this movie needed 2 editors.  Fucking Cider House Rules was done by one guy. You could have contracted a college kid for beer money to edit this over a Moday night**. My theory is there was a big creative clash halfway though editing, meaning the editor saw what they did and decided they didn't want to work on this piece of mung for another second. This movie also needed a director of photography.  Could the director not pull double duty on that one being such a low budget film.  Nope let’s hire a guy to tell us to stick a camera on a car dashboard with a big light.  Makes sense.  Speaking of the budget…

The budget was $35,000.  Some idiots seem to think, wow this movie was only made for that much what a feat in cinematic achievement.  El Mariachi cost $7,000, Clerks cost $27,000, Slacker cost $23,000, Primer cost $6000.  See these were actually movies, with acting, takes, camera work, lighting, sound, preparation, shooting schedules, film, etc.  This was none of the above. Shot in one night, with no facial recognition of any kind or lighting setup to brag about that you did it, and just a microphone in a car. This was like a college made movie, where they accidentally forgot to stop recording in between the different locations they were going to do and just decided hey lets keep it add a girl whining constantly behind the camera and we got a feature length instead.  I wonder if it has to do with how much men hate and get turned off when women cry about things.  This just gave me an anti erection for an hour*

The movie is 64 minutes long.  You may look at the running time say nope right there man, it says eighty some minutes.  Oh hold on buddy.  If everything else in this review is a lie as well and this movie is brilliant, then this is the only thing I swear true.   The credits are 15 minutes and 34 seconds long.  Yes that is correct. I'm sure it was a case that in order to be considered a feature length to certain investors it had to be at least 80 minutes, bingo.  Even though it is almost 20% scrolling/fading words, that's normal for good movies, right?  I assume it just wasn't stipulated. 

Although, there is this glorious 7 minute scene where they just use a scene that is played out later on, and overlay it over the current one and drop the transparency to make it look like ghost is coming towards you.  There is no explanation as to why an alien movie has suddenly transformed into a ghost story.

There is also a part where a crow attacks the cop car?  All it is is a Rorschach test skeeted on screen, a loud caw, and the girl shrieks.  

*honest to god the credits are more than 15 minutes long.  

** It was originally agreed it was going to be Sunday night but still too hung over. 

 


Is Graft Rampant in the Film Industry Part II The Case Of Madden Football and Iron Man

Every year the EA sports machine marches out their same ol song  New cover, new aspect of game to focus on, new player to curse.  In some ways it has evolved into something similar to bands with greatest hits albums.  Let's just reorganize all of their songs into a greatest hits, or "years" and resell it every once in awhile.  Madden has created this notion that it must be bought each and every year.  Better than any album or song with new technology could do.  Now I have incredibly little experience with computer programing, I'm just trying to use logic here.  The problem I have is that the makers of the game seem to suggest that working on Madden is a year round 80 hours a week job, constant programming, constantly improving, and always getting bigger.  Can something like that be true?  I guess I could see it being a big workflow if you are making it for a new system.  However Xbox 360 and PS3 are some of the oldest by age before next update.  Conjunct that with the fact of how fast technology evolves in every other realm seemingly right now.  Maybe updating rosters and players too, but other than that?  Isn't a majority of the work always already done for you every time you boot up?  Does someone have information saved on a floppy disk somewhere?  Also, the players are always just playing on this little square, this dome for an area is all you need to fill with information/characters, very simple geographically.  It's not like you need to design 600 complex detailed rooms.  Speaking of design, for the objects being football players that makes it simpler clothing wise and face wise since face masks and simple one main color jerseys and pants cover a lot of it.  I would also think almost all the layouts of the basic plays and types are already established and what fail percentage mixed with free will they will have every time. 

Of course each year they pump in a lot of promo videos, funny commercials, and they are going to show in behind the scenes featurettes that seem to pop up on each version, the "team" working with the players with all the ping pong balls, and doing facial recognition.  And studying engineering of hits, impact, physics, blah blah blah.  Why isn't that a template yet?  Why would you need to do that every year?  Yeah it's bells and whistles, it's see we are making it but, they can knock that out in a holiday shortened week, it is just messing around you just play it all year basically, jag bagging around with it.

Onto Iron Man 2, was there a contest for who got to write it that Dr. Pepper had?  Sorry to throw you under the bus Justin Theroux (sp), you were funny in Zoolander.  But Must have missed that contest.  Vanko?  The main villain, for the 10 minutes he was in the movie it was motivational.  I'm glad they made him so smart that he could hack into a weapon suppliers data base, build an army of war drones, create a suit better than Iron Man's essentially but still had to go through the black market for forged passports.  Why even bother to get forged passports and make a whole scene out of that, can't we as an audience just put 2 and 2 together that he got from Russia to Monte Carlo somehow sneakily.  Final battle probably should have lasted 18 minutes longer. What's the point of setting it in that woods area that comes out of nowhere and not mulch any of it, destruction just constantly around them as they are funny.  Just so you can stick it in the trailer so everyone things it is in the middle of nowhere which would seem kind of cool. Instead we just get this smooth iron man and war machine just mowing down everything with no problem.  Why wouldn't Vanko try to assassinate Tony Stark.  He was free, had access to vast amounts of machinary, weaponry, super computers, he could have gone unabomber on his ass at least a couple times, make another obstacle.  Or he could have hired Russian assassins.  to go after him while he is trying to make that atom.  Just to keep him busy.  Vanko knows he is working too.  Maybe Stark figures out Vanko wasn't killed.  And there is a big twist in his mind to maybe fill that gap as to why Stark wasn't curious about the details of Vanko's sudden and mysterious assassination in prison which would turn up in a probable DNA/dental test mere days later that it wasn't actually Vanko in the explosion.   

What is suspect after watching both of them a couple times is that Iron Man cost $140 million and Iron Man 2 cost $200 million.  Like Madden with special effects/graphics saved on a computer somewhere, sets designed, characters/crews established, and possibly fewer, yet easier to make 2 years later special effects why should the second one cost more.  I mean you have nerds in their basements making Iron Man videos with special effects at a somewhat decent level on next to nothing budgets.  Maybe there are pay offs for the first one making so much unexpectedly.  I wouldn't think RDJ would be able to request that much more money but then how much more, maybe $15 million plus back end?  No one really else could based off the reactions of replacing Katie Holmes and Terrence Howard, all characters besides the lead usually are expendable.  Usually, unless it bombs, then it is the first commandment in the book of reboot.  But it also didn't feel bigger in scope.  I guess they blew up a lot of cars, wasn't there a car commercial based of that around the time.  How much did it make off more product placement?  And did they really blow up real actual cars?   This isn't just Ironman 2, a lot of sequels do this.  Animated sequels is a weird turd.  Why again did Toy Story 3 cost almost 6x the amount as Toy Story?  What the hell computers were they using back in 1995?  Or a few years before since that was only the date it was released.  "Oh! Of course if it is a sequel it means the first one was popular so you get a bigger budget, more to throw around, make it rain, you get more spend more, human nature, then it is a write off of budget, boom". 

Why would it matter if a movie costs this much when it should cost less?  Maybe it is a good justification of the raising of ticket prices every year so it's a situation now where I have to pay to see a movie in a theater for a few bucks less than if I wait and just buy it on DVD.  Can you imagine today's father?  Today's father.  Working 60 hours a week at a job that he probably hates, and doesn't get any respect for, making $40,000 grand a year, with pathetic insurance.  Schlepping all 3 of his kids, plus 2 of the neighbor kids since they are somewhat friends but somehow didn't have any cash on them to goddamned Shrek 4 for $80 bucks including snacks, $110 if in Imax 3D, and one of the kids pukes from a seizure.  That guy shouldn't have to put up with yet another failure at the movies this time because the studios mishandled movie budgets and need to turn something around quick.  Not at my movie theater, not anymore. 

PS So is father secretly develops this global changing element but encrypts it in a model of queens, for his son to decipher years down the line but only does so because he developed an Iron suit to become a super hero.  Dude's a risk taker.  

Shrek 4 Budget was $165 million (imdb)

Sunday, August 28, 2011

Goldblum's Line in Lost World

 In the Lost World when we first see the stegosaurus', Goldblum says something to the degree of it starts out ooo and ahh then there is the running and the screaming.  Which does end up happening in this movie.  Save for the screaming, does this not describe Spielberg to a T.  Did the less is more in all of his movies, it ended up working well for him then in Close Encounters, Jaws, ET, etc.  But Lost World??  The first Jurassic Park had the convenience of being setup as a theme park first.  It was safe, the animals were behind cages.  They were off in the jungle through the wires, not dangerous.  It works well in that situation not in a situation where, as Hammond had only described mere minutes earlier, that the animals were all over the fucking place with that geothermal map.  They hit that island boom I want raptors jumping out of the bushes, T-Rex eating them, and chasing killing a bunch of people, it is Chaos.  It is what Malcom sadly predicted.  But Spielberg tried to rely on steady as she go formula and kind of ruined what could have been a crazy experience.  Then tried to make it up too much and we got San Diego. Ridley Scott could have directed it.  Imagine a cross between Black Hawk Down and Jurassic Park.  like  helicopter goes in rescue mission right, you bring a military group but they are shot down and it is just rampaging the whole movie.  Contra style.  And this touches on the third, the third tried to do it this way but mucked up even more.  They were walking all over that island and screaming and yelling.  They should have all been dead within 20 minutes. 

Spiritual Experience During Wings of Desire

Senior year I take this German film class that I ended up absolutely hating.  The teacher is a pretentious bald bastard.  The class is on the other side of fucking campus, and for some reason it felt like it rained every time I went there.  Probably about a half hour walk.  There were your usual characters in a film class, you know the sweaty girl, who wears lederhosen and  does knitting throughout the whole thing.  Answering questions while she is doing it.  Then when she is talking she expects everyone to pay attention to her.  Oh you didn't have that, that's right she was the only chick I ever fucking heard of doing that stupid as hell routine.  The class also sucked because we had a film "lab" where we just watched German movies from different eras.  Which would be great, there are solid German movies, oh except the asshole prof top heavied it with pre 1930 crap with the sound not working half the time for all of them, and the class was on Tuesday's at 8 pm.  Although there was one nice looking girl, she me reminded me of a girl I met that summer.  Didn't say one word to her the whole time though.  One of the movies we had to watch was Wings of Desire, which was remade into the Nic Cage vehicle City of Angels for reference.  It was from the 1980's and I thought it would be decent, German punk rapid, kind of what Run Lola referenced. Slow as fuck.  I was falling asleep throughout.  Most of it was inner monologue, in black white, heavy imagery, shadows, like it was a french student film.  As I'm falling asleep bonking my head all over the place, I slipped into kind of a state between deep sleep and awake, this has happened for a lot of you probably.  Where there is something so real and complete clarity briefly and you are still awake.  As I slink deeper, for about 3-4 seconds the German spoken from the film was making sense and I could understand everything they were saying then I slipped deeper and woke up a couple minutes later.  I only remember the brief German encounter.

 What Happened?
This episode albeit profound in my memory didn't make any sense other than it was messed up in a good way.  Except for about a year later I was looking for apartments in the area.  One was in the country a little bit but across from a lake, it sounded interesting at least.  As it turns out it was owned by this old lady that actually lived downstairs.  It would have been a weird situation, since there was a door from the upstairs to the downstairs that was pretty accessible.  It wasn't built for sound probably, might have been 600 square feet and she was charging $700/month.  The lake ended up being about 200 yards away with no real direct access.  After she showed it to me she invited me downstairs for coffee.  Even though the apartment was a bust she ended up telling me something very profound.  She brought up her belief that our DNA has a memory.  Meaning who knows what kinds of things get passed down from generation to generation, father to son, nightmares, fears, emotions, intuition, soul.  Now I know my family is part German, at least 25%.  what if in this mental haze I was able to refer back to a German gene or relatives memory of some sort and understand it even for a brief period.  Is this what happened?

I still give the movie 3/29

Sunday, August 21, 2011

Ah Another Day, Another Abortion of a Movie Poster

It's nice to see so many people asleep at the wheel at marketing and graphics departments of studios these days. Although I am happy/relieved in a way.  These people are in charge of only things like this and not anything that bares any importance on people's day to day lives.  Kind of like when the teacher had all the slower kids play Oregon Trail while the other kids learned fractions. 

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

How Can You Really Blame Humans for Hating Mutants?

 So I've been addicted to the X-Men animated series once again since it came on Netflix Streaming.  Hands down, it is probably the best cartoon ever made for a kid.  Think of how jacked you were over it, then how much you were for the movie, the video games, the action figures, everything else.  It was just constant action and mutant power use.  Mutant powers taken away, used to kill, etc.  Watch the beginning of the time travel one where Wolverine and Storm are together and Professor X was killed in college (which he is bald in all the way).  Anyway it is all action for almost the first 10 minutes.  Now that I watched these, it just makes the movie sub par.  It had entertaining stories and a whole bunch of action, this program aimated in sweatshops over in asia, and you are saying you couldn't make a live action similar in scope with a big, powerful, hollywood studio?  You add 25 more minutes of action and mutant powers and you gross another 100 million guaranteed. 

But onto the situation that X-men live in.  As everyone knows they live in a world where people are judgmental of mutants, this has people on edge.  Yet if you watch the show, look at everything that happens because of mutants.  You pretty much have a terrorist attack possibility at any given moment in any given location.  You have time traveling mutants spreading plagues, giant mutants with the four horsemen, bridges constantly destroyed, intergalactic wars, and one man rampages.  Obviously if you are a just person you should treat everyone as an individual.  There are good and bad everything.  But then you have to throw in the fact as they point out for a good while in First Class.  This is a step in evolution, and the previous species is going to be wiped out eventually whether violently or not.  If you put a badger in a corner what will they do?

If lets say there were then Super Mutants that became, more like Dark Phoenix, Magneto, all that shit would the xmen try to stop them?  I'd assume so.  What if that evolution happened again, and that is what Magneto is vs. Charles, that there are mutants, and then they breed the super mutants with they have kids, mutants squared.  The mutants are just a blip on the screen of evolution as well. 

How do you not include them?
X-Men 1) Gambit, Beast, Angel,
X-Men 2)  Juggernaut, Sabretooth (he heals right), all above, and more collosus.  Show him fighting the soldiers with wolverine, none of this help them shit, there is probably another mature teenager, have fucking Kitty Pride do that housework. 
X-Men 3) Umm Every fucking mutant ever created.  You want to create a trilogy.  You want to have this huge fucking battle, the last stand right.  No don't worry about the entire marvel/X-men universe at our disposal, lets just have a bunch of mutants that just jump really high and blow smoke. 
X-Men 4) I don't know, can't really remember it enough.
X-Men 5) Cyclops and Jean.  You have an added dynamic of charles and another power psychic.  You could have a tiny thing with the Phoenix, since that ist he stupid thing they decided to do in the Last Stand.  Not to mention that it might explain the beginning of the third one to all the hardcore nerds out there about the opening with magneto and xavier in the beginning.  It could be her memory of the event because you have that in movie, but she might remember it as they look in her older present.  Plus you actually have more of a reason for mystique to go over to the darkside in the end, because she is jealous of this younger, hotter, bustier, sluttier red head spending all this time with Charles reading each others thoughts.  Why not make mystique Rebecca Romjin?  Beast says she won't age.  She is still hot, and lord knows she could use the work.  She was the best mystique.  Also I think it is pretty well established, that Cyclops and Jean are his first students.  What is the point in changing that?  Not to mention you could make cyclops over 30 to actually give more depth to the cast.  Have him played by Steve Nash or some shit.  Why isn't charles older?  I thought he was supposed to be around the same age as magneto, but in this he looks 21. 

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Dark of the Moon?


Did Pink Floyd have anything to do with the new transformers movie being named Dark of the Moon?  Like they had the hardcore copyright on it and it couldn't be even be toppled by the juggernaut of Bay/Bruckheimer.  That would be funny.  They are throwing everything they can at them, women, power, money, and they are not going to budge on being associated with that piece of shit movie.  Let's face it Transformers wasn't as good as it could have been and Shia Labouefrfer ruined the movie.  A big defense to any negativity of this movie is, what did you expect, it's a movie about giant robots fighting each other, it's not oscar worthy, it is a popcorn flick, dum dee dum dee.  Well exactly, it is a movie about fighting robots, and I paid to see fighting robots.  But how much do the robots fight, how much are they a central part of what is going on?  I don't care about stupid comedy bits, John Turturo and government cover ups, a ridiculous scene featuring Jon Voight, a fat black man, and a skinny white girl with an austrailian accent chase around a small robot like it is a chimp on meth, the first 20 minutes, talking about ebay, a fucking 8 minute scene taking place in the backyard of a house, that this family has a quirky sounding last name like every other big budget summer movie does that needs clarifying every 10 god damn minutes,  that curly hair fuck talking to himself and trying to get Megan Fox.  Or anything else, show robots fighting each other all the time.  Have a very basic story.  Throw a few humans and crowds in for good measure, I don't need to know where they went to college, or who they are trying to fuck.  Show them dying in cool ways trying to defend earth that is it. And this isn't a war between alien species, it is a fight.  It's like he's trying recreate West Side Story or something.  You know why Independence Conquered 1996 because of shear volume.  We saw all those jet planes in trailer shots, and we creamed our pants.  I want to see 2000 robots battling.  Make a bunch of new characters.  Think of all the new vehicles they could have done. 

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Meryl Streep is 62, what the hell?

Today is Meryl Streep's 62nd birthday.  Wow, and it seems like she can still grip it, and rip it. 

Saturday, June 18, 2011

Wonder Boys

Why did they make Wonder Boys this way?  Katie Holmes tell the guy from Wall St to stop smoking pot to write better, he does but the then in the end he is turning out drivel, sitting at his laptop like a douche.  Was it supposed to be that kind of commentary?  I think I would rather be the guy in the pink bathrobe churning away at the typewriter with a 2000+ page book than sitting up in that attic, all cool and collected.  I guess he does get Francis McDormand and a kid, and maybe that's what life is all about. 

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

We Never Saw Charlotte Have Sex Right?

Wilbur and Charlotte hang out the whole movie, then all of a sudden Charlotte has that sack full of kids.   What the hell happened there?  So she was getting it on while Wilbur was sleeping or eating?  Probably had a whole host of gentlemen callers, trying to get pregnant before she died.  Slut. 

Monday, June 6, 2011

Where do these Demon Posters Keep Coming From?

It seems like every day now I turn around and there is some new movie poster for a 90's movie.  What is happening, where are these coming from?  Why is Nancy Travis normal and Mike Myers look like a 12 year old boy.

True story I pitched my dad a sequel to this when I was in 5th grade.  I couldn't sleep in my grandma's apartment in Jersey.  It was August and she didn't believe in AC.  Anyway I think I woke up him up and I said "how about instead of married, it is dating, 'So My Son is Dating an Axe Murderer', and it is their kid down the line", the poster would be the kid in front of the two giving the big shoulder shrug.  There was also a scene where he thinks that she poisoned an entire cake and shenanigans ensue.

Sunday, June 5, 2011

What Scenes To Change in Xmen First Class

Review - Spoilers:  As an Xmen film I'd probably rate it 3rd for now.  Maybe repeat viewings will push it over.  Far and away better than The Last Stand, honest question can Brett Ratner drive?  The constant location subtitles kind of wore on.  A lot of the locations they didn't even need, and some of them it was well known where they were.  It also felt a little too CW to me at times, Smallville that's it, and maybe some Dawsons.  Maybe because Havoc looked more like a whiny bitch, what was he in prison for skateboarding after 10?  Fassbender clearly stole the show.  He played it, dare I say, better than Sir Ian.  I think fan boys can agree fassbender gave magneto that toughness that had been lacking before.  Singer's Magneto came off more like a Hannibal Lector, capable of small bits of terrific evil.  However his role was mostly of the evil genius, rather than a Evil General, someone that reflects the dirt of life well.  A couple times in Singer I thought Magneto would bust out a nail file. 

What to change:  The coin scene.  This scene was actually one of my favorites in the film.  It got things kind of going, even though it turned out it was surrounded by a lot of slow, pointless character setup, and settings.  In the movie Kevin Bacon asks Magneto as a boy to move a coin with his power or watch him kill his mother.  The coin doesn't move after a good try I guess from Magneto, and Kevin doesn't flinch in putting down the mother.  After witnessing this he goes into full on rage and everything metal starts shaking.  The two guards who brought the mother have their skulls crushed with their metal helmets.  An experiment room off the side incased in glass starts going shit canned.  But something seemed a little off.  It felt like a scene was missing.  Would a young boy about his age go into full on rage just standing there if at all.  You would think he would feel nothing but sadness and regret and rush over to her, but nothing.  What they should have done is have Magneto move the coin a little bit.  This is a boy who only moments before crushed a fence when he was just taken away from his parents.  Now he know that if he doesn't move a coin she will die.  You would think he could move it a tad.  Magneto, thinking he passed smiles joyfully, but nothing is happening with his mum.  Kevin wants to bring out his full rage for a full effect, so he cheats.  He looks down and shakes his head then smiles, and the boy then seems confused and frightened by this.  Kevin asks the soldiers "Did you see it move" and they both shake their heads no, because he is authority.  This would have played more into the "following orders" theme throughout the movie.  Also gives more impact to Magneto crushing the helmets of the two guards.without sorrow, because he believed them to be spineless for not being righteous and therefore only worthy of death.  A characteristic that maybe Magneto should have in future segments. 

Speaking of that time period, it might be interesting to see exactly what Shaw did to him to bring out his powers.  He has that flashback and it seems to be his key to accessing his powers for awhile.  Was it a marathon man/dr giggles scenario.  I don't know. 

You don't kill the rest of the team?:  Shaw was the guys name.  So Shaw and his goons storm the secret CIA location of the mutants kill everyone in site, even a guy who thought shooting a rocket launcher inside in a circle was a good idea.  Did that guy think, someone is storming the building, I better go get the rocket launcher.  He probably was a mutant who was a psychic and knew he was going to die, but didn't know how, so he figured might as well give it a go, shoot a rocket launcher in my life.  Anyway Shaw says if you aren't with us you are against us, that stripper with wings goes with him, and everyone stands around.  Finally havoc and the black dude they surprising kill off, darwin, telegraph their impractical hope of saving her.  Darwin dies and the bad crew walk off.  You just said if you aren't with us you are against us.  Why does he let them live, they are CIA trainees, of course they will suck now but get really good.  I think they wasted a chance for a good 10 minute mutant on mutant battle here.  Shaw could have had one more bad mutant that he put up to the task with the devil guy and he walk off with gspot torando.  Shaw figures they will handle them easily, his cockiness that will lead to his downfall eventually.   The extra guy could have died, and the devil guy could have been maimed by Beast (see next paragraph).  You could have shown a good action scene, along with developing character as they all use their power they get better and survive the battle but they lose.  Good lesson in all.  They could have had another good mutant too and have them die so it shows the movies crew aint playin.  Are they going to really try and form a team with just these people?  Look at how many mutants Charles was finding.  But you got to try and kill them, at least try, they will survive but it will be a close call.  Havoc loses it or something.  Speaking of which why is the bad guy only rolling with a crew of 4.  Add a couple fall guys just to take the edge off.  Bigger, super strength fellows.  One of the disposable guys or maybe both.  A rocksteady beebop is what i'm going for.

Beast:  I get it dudes a nerd, a geek, wimpy and more ackward with huge feet (why not hands too, wasn't that in comics), but by the end he is called Beast because of how he snaps, and amps his shit up.  Just do it once when he was a human, that's all I want.  Have him snap, have him show that flare of animal instinct beastiality, or alteredbeast.  This could be shown in that battle above.  He cuts off the arm of the devil guy.  That gives their fight in the end more dynamic because it is the second duel.  Maybe the devil guy has regenerative ability and the arm is a stub that he can use as a club though, it is all fat.  But with the arm cutting off, the devil guy is about to hurt Raven and Hank snaps.  He fashions a weapon out of a lamp, a coat hanger, and a piece of glass, like that guy macgyver.  he figures out a way to cut the glass and makes essentially a surgical blade.  and slices it off like butter.  But before, he gymnastically battles a little.  Also what the hell was up with his mouth and talking, it didn't move sometimes.  Was that a $160 million movie quality?

Kevin Bacon - Was brilliant as always.  Kind of pitter pattered towards the end, but evil work should be springing up down the line.  

The wolverine cameo was pointless - give it to me after the credits or deleted scene.  You travel all the way he says fuck off and that's it.  It's like the Shaw scene.  This whole movie seems to be characters that know they are limited by the script.  If you are going to do the scene though at all at least have Magneto and him kind of jab back and forth.  Magneto wouldn't walk away from that.  A holocaust survivor probably wouldn't.  Wolverine could have retracted his claws, and Magnet could say as he is being dragged out since they were about to fight "if those were made of metal you wouldn't be so tough".  Boom.  

Overall probably 6 out of 10.  Fassbender/McCovoy/Bacon and last battle scene made up for a lot of shortcomings.  The final battle although not a best, you can admit a lot of shit was happening at least, there was a goal at least talked about and accomplished.  It went over a lot of things that have already been addressed in the previous ones.  I hate when they have the power presentations to each other but that is just me.  Things seem to happen only because they were in the script.  They said they were going to start world war III, so they went to each side, said they were going to do it, and it happened.  Seemed too dull for something that intricate.  Will we ever see great mutant on mutant battle scenes in any xmen, ones that involve more than one on one, or two on one mutant.  I want to see an orgy just once.  What the hell was up with that thing Mystique said at the end with beast and then just them all holding hands. 

Sunday, May 29, 2011

Breaking News Steven Spielberg

This just coming through the wire, but apparently Spielberg is setting out to direct a movie that involves a child with separated parents.