Friday, October 21, 2011

Why Pay it Forward is the Second Best Movie Ever Made

  1. Jim Fucking Cavise..Cazievel…Ciyikeetoo
  2. There is a shiving
  3. A kid that looks like Steve Bischel’s Brother
  4. Instead of laughing at Kevin Spacey we feel sorry for him. 
  5. A scene shot in prison without any anus’ having to bleed
  6. Camera angles, camera angles, my god camera angles/editing
  7. It’s soooooooooooooooooooooooooooo sweet and heartwarming lifts the spirits lets fucking change this planet.  Just Pay it Forward, people helping people YES!
  8. Helen Hunt works in a casino and has major small-titty cleavage, the two best qualities I find in women today. 
  9. Haley Joel Osmont plays an arrogant, vagina teasing, mother whoring, van bashing little brat
  10.  But it didn’t have a half naked, chubby, brit girl with bad teeth with her rolls hanging out of a her tank top, and that is why Bridges of Madison County is the best movie ever made.  Wait…that was Meryl Streep, and she’s not British.

Bill Murray finally takes role as a sarcastic, wise-cracking cynic.

Saturday, October 15, 2011

How can duos win Awards?

First let me just say I love the Coen Brothers.  I think over the last 30 years there hasn't been a higher quality crop of films from anyone else and not only that but they're putting out films on a regular basis.  And maybe they get a pass on this since as a duo they have their hands in more aspects of the film like editing, writing, producing, etc.  They might also be one of the very few that I think can use "A Film by" when crediting. 

How can you award an oscar to do a duo?  I absolutely fucking hate because it is the half the work, oh ahaha because you fight with each other that is a battle, oh hell no that is debate, a duo debates.  These aren’t political polars on some gay news channel where you don't get anything done, one person has an idea the other one does too and they work on getting the best one, or guess what they can do multiple takes.  Can you give awards for 2 actors?  Thinking about it more I guess it doesn't really apply to Coen's, I'm glad they won all their awards, I think it applies to those asshole Strause brothers or the Brothers Strause as they now label their crap.  If they ever won an award, and directing duos like that.  Speaking of which throw screenwriting duos into that.  If that is all you do then you should be disqualified, why does it take 4 people to write a movie?  You know it must be good then. 

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Saw Dirty Harry For the First Time Last Night

And it was better than I ever thought it could be. That woman had no idea how close she was to death.    
Even though my only experience with it going in is that it was a gritty crime drama, I was surprised to find how funny some scenes were.  For the first time in a long time I found myself actually thoroughly enjoying a movie again.  It was like having sex with an ex girlfriend 10 years down the line.  Now, whenever someone says that oh they don't make movies like they used to.  Every generation underneath says you're just old, and all people say that about the things kids listen to and watch and yeah it's going to be that way for the rest of time.  But I think we just need to start admitting that the stuff from the 60's, 70's and 80's was just awesome and it started going down hill in the 90's.  If Dirty Harry had come out today and I saw it in the theater I'd probably see it 3x.  It competes against anything released this year.  I was born in 1983 and I saw The Thing for the first time in 2007, around the same time I saw Ghost Rider, and The Thing floored it.  It doesn't really have anything to do with when I saw it, mainly more on whether that it is crap or not.

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Remember when Amanda Peet was the big IT girl?

She was in that episode of seinfeld with the dude, got warm, then exploded all over the place with The Whole 9 Yards.  Remember when the Whole 10 yards just bombed?  No one recovered from that.  Maybe that's what did it. They were all a few years old, looked worse.  Amanda Beet was everywhere for around 4 years.  Then seemed to disappear after Whipped.  Well not really, I mean you do see her pop up once in awhile.  She is always some kind of psychologically stressed mother with a husband who doesn’t love he. Those seem like simpler times though when she was hot.

Saturday, September 10, 2011

I Miss Chubby Michelle Williams

I might be willing to say nothing beats that first season of Dawson's, and every time Michelle Williams came on, instant boner.  She was this new, out of left field, slutty, voluptuous blonde chick that pissed off Katie Holmes.  Jackie vs. Marilyn type thing except in modern high school so they are more catty.  She also reminded me of a girl I went to high school with at that time too so i was able to kill two birds with one stone.  But now, she is still hot don't get me wrong, but she seems less fun.  Plus you know Heath Ledger just destroyed that thing probably. 

I ended up watching Shutter Island for the third time a week ago and I think I am more confused as ever.  I noticed that the chick he is interviewing, one of the patients.  She asks for a glass of water, raises her hands, but with nothing in it, then you see the empty glass.  What the fuck.  Martin Scorsese, you son of bitch.  He is a sneaky little fucker.  I thought the movie oh blah blah, he is insane the whole time, bravo Scorsese, yet another sleep walking, intense mental institution movie.  But he actually stuck a lot of things in here, pardon my french, that you will notice.  You notice that the Jackie Earl Haley, says certain things like :"You did this" and "It's all a game".  But then you also more reasons that he has to be sane this couldn't be real, and it's like you split your mind in half more and more the more you see..  It's a movie that makes you insane.  This might be Scorsese's biggest, literal mind fuck.  You have to interpret both equally yet some people see either one at full speed.

Some points from this time that make me see more for either on of them.
Insane -
  • I can see the case that none of what happens could be real up until the point in the lighthouse.  Seriously he could have been under deep psychosis inside that little room, inside his mind.  Or some combination of film reel, Clock Work Orange thing. He could have been just coming out of it when he "shot" Ben Kingsley and was half asleep.  That is why the gun goes off and we see blood but nothing happens.  All of it was in his head, only the lighthouse existed.  That is why the gun didn't have bullets.  The guard was genuinely scared outside.  He would know the gun wouldn't have bullets.  Because Leo was never outside the lighthouse.  He was doing this all inside that room in his mind.  He looked deranged and he was dancing around.  Perhaps he just gets worse and worse, he starts out nice and civil, a US Marshal who is seeking vengeance.  But then he starts shooting guns and stuff so they have to basically put him down mentally.  That is the scene in the end, notice how it mirror the scene on the boat.  He is on the boat right now getting ready to go again, and Ruffalo knows it.  
  •  Finally realize the hints that he beat up Jackie Earl Haley (sp).  
  • All the orderlies react so harshly when that one guy said he left to go to the bathroom, as if it was such a horrible thing to do over a 12 hour shit.  Overreaction? 
(from the first point of it above, obviously if none of it is real, then none of this below existed like we thought it did which would negate it.  The easy way out?)
Sane -
  • Why would they let a mental patient just wander around the facility at all times a day or night?  He also had relative ease getting into ward C.   
  • Guards are shown in the beginning combing the fields.  Presumably for the "lost woman", would they really divert about a dozen resources to on the fringe fields to make it that authentic to Leo.
  •   The woman patient that writes 'run' doesn't look at Ruffalo at all when they bring up his Dr. character.  She would have to be an extremely well trained actor within the movie to be able to pull off that stunt.  
  • That woman in the cave is more convincing than anything, big wild card. 

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Why Don't DVD Numbers Get Reported At All?

Quick what was the highest grossing movie last year in the US, 2010.  Toy Story 3, of course.  Who had the highest grossing DVD last year?  Might take a little while, and digging and it's kind of weird but Avatar.  According to The Numbers.  Avatar sold about 10 million DVD's, Toy Story 3 came in second with a little over 9 million.  The sales revenue of each just from DVD's was $183 million and $162 million.  That no small chunk of change.  Yet we never hear anything about it.  They run the weekend box-office every week on our local news station, IMDB always comes in with up to date totals, and has box office for almost every movie, from every country depending on how popular it is, but rarely talks about rentals.  Hundreds of websites are devoted to the weekend box-office, with even one devoted to gambling on it.  The DVD's (I mean rentals) only make up a small portion of what's talked about yet that is what more and more people watch nowadays.  Back in 2007, Pirates of the Carribean:  At World's End (the guy who Depp based the character off of actually appeared in the movie, zany!) made $279 million from DVD's and sold about 13.7 million units.  That's huge, more than 97% of the movies released didn't even get a sniff of that asshole in box office receipts, more than 75% probably not even half that.  It's weird though, especially for how much backlash that crapfest had.  What's shocking is that it sold more than Avatar  With all the nerds that made it the highest grossing movie of all time, more people would buy a DVD of the 3rd runaround with ol Jack Sparrow, with probably only a couple years from an ultimate collectors trilogy being set loose, than buy a Oscar nominated movie that grossed twice as much money?  Not only that but they only sold 26% more units, but made 52% more money.  Of course more people are buying a crappier movie that costs more money, makes sense to me.  On the other hand how was Avatar able to make over $700 million, but only be deemed good enough to buy 10 million times.  Something doesn't add up, am I missing Blu-Ray numbers?